Cartel Bitch by Chelsea Camaron

Author:Chelsea Camaron [Camaron, Chelsea]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Carolina Dreams Publishing

Twelve

Mari Belle

Five Years Later

“You walk the line, she lives,” Maricio reminded me as I began packing Yesnia’s bag.

I had my baby girl, but I was still stuck under my brother’s rule. Being a mom wasn’t easy. Doing it with no job, no car, and a brother who never allowed me out of his sight made escaping impossible.

So, I embraced motherhood.

If I couldn’t give Yesnia freedom then I would give her me, all of me.

We were in America. El Paso, Texas which wasn’t far from where we grew up in Juarez. I found it comforting to be in the desert when Maricio would allow us to go out. That took time to build up trust for him to let me outdoors. Yesnia, though, she soaked up the sunshine from the very first time we got to enjoy the fresh air and every time since.

Over the last few years I had built up a sort of trust, this sort of truce with Maricio. When Yesnia was born, he held my hand as I pushed her out. It was a tragically beautiful moment. I became a mother on a cold desert night in a bathtub while my brother refused to let me cry out in pain, afraid the neighbors would hear. A midwife rushed inside just in time for the delivery.

Yesnia Luisa Dominguez. My healthy baby girl was born at seven pounds, two ounces, and twenty inches long. The midwife left with no questions or even instructions for my healing. Honestly, after delivery I was too exhausted to reach out for help at the time. Of course, later I regretted it, but what was I supposed to do? I had a new baby and no clue how to take care of and I was under lock and key.

I didn’t get to enjoy motherhood like most women, at least not in the beginning. Those first few days were so overwhelming. My breasts ached as my milk came in. I couldn’t seem to ease the pain radiating through my body as it tried to heal and provide food for my baby. It was all too much. Yesnia cried. A lot. She cried so loud and so often, it was like I couldn’t seem to get enough food in her.

Maricio, well, he was a special brand of crazy. Some days he would take Yesnia, holding her close while singing to her softly. Other days he would look at her with complete disgust that left me holding her close while making promises I could only hope to one day keep. Every day was this constant up and down rollercoaster ride. Without any money, any family, or anywhere to go, each day I felt more desperate than the last.

Paco came around at odd times. He made me uncomfortable. He offered me a life free from Maricio but it was as his whore. I knew better than to take the deal. In the end, the fear of the unknown kept me with Maricio. He was a bad man, but I knew there were worse men around.

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